(Bull On) Bewerbungsformular für Country-Musiker
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Beitrag von Harvey vom Juni 13. 2001 um 15:19:17:
Application to be A Country Musician
Name:__________ Nickname: Bubba____ Skeeter____ Other____
Can you sign and spell your name correctly? Sometimes____ Never____
Current Address:_____________ Number of months behind on rent:____
Neck Shade: Light Red___ Medium Red___ Dark Red___ Peeling___
Number of teeth in full grin: 1 ___ 2 ___ 3 ___ More? ___
Approximate size and weight of beer belly:______ Brand of beer:_____
Brand of chewing tobacco:______ Brand of snuff:______
Make of pick-up truck:_______ Size of tires:______ 4 Wheel Drive?___
Number of months behind in payments:_________ Does it have doors?___
Altitude of running boards: 3'___ 6'___ 12'___ 16'___
Number of empty beer cans under the seats:_____ Broken windows?____
Is truck appropriately equipped with the following?
Yes No
8 track Hank Williams tapes: ___ ___
Pit Bull ___ ___
Air horns ___ ___
Roll bar ___ ___
Steer horns on hood ___ ___
Musical horn that plays "Dixie" ___ ___
"BOCEPHUS" bumper sticker ___ ___
Red Man chewing tobacco bumper sticker ___ ___
I love grits bumper sticker ___ ___
"AMERICA, LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT" bumper sticker ___ ___
Desert Storm bumper sticker ___ ___
12 foot CB antenna ___ ___
Illegally altered 1 giga-watt CB transmitter ___ ___
Spitoon ___ ___
Mud Flaps ___ ___
Curb Feelers ___ ___
Shot Guns in back window ___ ___
How many of the following items are in your front yard: (working or not)
Yes No
Gardens made of old tires ___ ___
Trucks or cars ___ ___
Chickens or goats ___ ___
Household appliances ___ ___
Old trailers ___ ___
Bath tubs ___ ___
TV sets ___ ___
Describe your last Elvis sighting: ______________________________________
Did you think the movie "Deliverance" was a comedy? ________
Have you ever taken a date to a tractor pull? ___ Hog calling contest? ___
Do you own any of the following?
Fertilizer hat?____ Feed Hat?____ Shoes?____
Belt buckles that weigh more than three pounds? _____
If so:
Have you worn them to Funerals___ Weddings___ Church___ Job interviews___
Do you bathe with: Soap___ Relatives___ Small animals___
How often: Weekly___ Monthly___ Twice a year___ Once a year___
Have you ever been shot at by: Ay-rabs_____ Angry husbands___
Wives___ Fathers-in-law___ Mothers-in-law___ The Law___
Does your wife weigh more or less than: Your guitar___ Your truck___
Have you seen her in the past: Two weeks___ Two months___ Two years
Have you ever seen her when she wasn't: Pregnant___ Barefoot___ Mad___
Have you ever stayed sober for a whole weekend?_________
Can you count to 11 with your shoes on?____ 21 with your pants on?_____
If you have had someone read all the above questions to you and you have
completely understood them then place you "X" on the line below.
__________________________
Witness signature
__________________________
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